The post-breakup world is a wasteland of emotions. While communication between the two parties should cease as soon as possible, a certain amount is necessary, so each person can process his or her feelings and gain closure.

But there’s an etiquette to these exchanges — what you can say, how often you can say it and how long you can say it for — and whether you got dumped or did the dumping dictates how you are to conduct yourself.

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If I were to boil down to one word what everyone wants in a romantic partner, it’d be compatibility. Compatibility when it comes to values, personality, sense of humor, what you each want out of life.

And yes, physical compatibility.

While looks aren’t everything, and making decisions based solely on them never leads to Disney-worthy endings, discounting their importance is equally egregious.

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Should I stay or should I go?

It’s the question that’s asked at one time or another in every relationship. And once you throw infidelity into the mix, its answer becomes that much more complicated.

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I still remember it clearly. I was in fourth grade, sitting at the dinner table as my parents and brother argued. Again. He was struggling with algebra, they wanted to get him a tutor. 60 Minutes-worthy stuff, I know, but given our family’s Pollyanna-ness, these altercations registered as war.

As the voices around me rose, the voice in my head found clarity: I would never talk back. Ever.

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I dated my wife for over five years before she became my fiancee. I took so long because, emotionally, I wasn’t ready to be a husband, but I also struggled to make sense of marriage. Weren’t we already exactly like a married couple? So what was going to change?

More than I thought, actually.

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